Love is a triangle

Our maker is love and since He made us in His image, we are love. No doubt love is the commonest word in humanity. The interesting thing, however, is that no one really knows exactly what love is.

In an attempt to give us a better understanding of love, many people have come up with analogies, metaphors and theories of love. In Akan, for example, we say "odo ye de wu" or love is death. An old time Ghanaian musician also came up with a song which explained that love is strange because it makes us mad.

Today we have many theories of love. A theory is an idea that explains how or why something happens.

Some have made theories of love out of shapes. There is a theory that love is a wheel.

An American professor, Stemburg, has come up with a theory that love is a triangle. A triangle is a shape that has three straight sides.

The love triangle
According to Stenburg, the three dimensions of a love triangle are commitment, intimacy and passion.

Commitment is the cognitive part of love. It is the determination to make the relationship work. It may begin slowly but increases as partners move their relationship to more advanced stages like moving from friendship to marriage. Committed partners stay in their relationship even during difficult times.

Intimacy is the emotional component of love. It involves sharing feelings and providing emotional support. Partners share personal information which they may ordinarily not do because of the risk involved. Partners open up for discussion and sharing. They build trust for each other.

Passion is the motivational component of love.
It is usually expressed by touching, kissing and sexual interactions. Passion is like addition. It builds quickly and ends quickly.

The three dimensions of love may be combined to give eight types of love.

For example, non love occurs when none of die three dimensions is present. Like occurs when there is just intimacy, but no passion and commitment. In empty love there is commitment but no passion or intimacy.

Romantic love has both intimacy and passion but no commitment. Fatuous love occurs when there is commitment and passion but no intimacy. Consummate love is complete love, counting all three dimensions.

It is obvious that where two lovers have all the three dimensions present in high levels; they have a happy relationship. Where in a relationship, one has the three dimensions at high levels but when the 'other has low levels, the relation¬ship is prone to failure.

Partners may start with low levels and grow all the three dimensions.

Do you have a love theory?
Anyone can have a love theory provided it exhibits two essentials of love. First, it must indicate you have a positive self esteem and love yourself. Being a loving person is the best way to be loved. If you do not love yourself you Can't love anybody and nobody can iove you.

Second, it must indicate you are prepared to make someone better by the sacrifices you make for him or her. If you are true lovers, both must be better as a result of the relationship because you both make sacrifices to build each other.

You focus on the relationship and should not have serious interests outside the relationship. True love also has no room for possessiveness, jealousy, intolerance, inequality, immorality and abuse. Above all, the love should make you best friends.

You don't have to scratch your head to understand theories of love. Just show it in your simple ways. Always remember true love is patient and kind. It is not self-seeking nor keeps records of wrongs. It does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects and preserves. This is the kind of love you should focus on because it never fails.

50 Ways To Add Sparkle To Your Love Life

9 Types Of Tension That Can Improve Your Marriage