Dating a gorgeous guy

I love looking at my boyfriend Tim’s big brown eyes, fringed with lashes so thick they could easily fan a small child during a summer heat wave. He’s got a nose chiseled by some Italian master sculptor, full lips that readily stretch into a sweet, charming grin and just the right amount of sexy, three-day-old stubble. He’s 6’3, broad-shouldered and has more style than any straight man ought to; think Ashton Kutcher with a dash of Mr. Big thrown in. And he’s all mine. I should be in heaven, right?

Wrong. Call me a whiner, but dating a cute guy isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It begins to wreak havoc with a well-established dating dynamic.

In general, women are the ones in a relationship who are expected to turn heads. But with Tim, the tables (and heads) are turned to the point that any self-assured woman would wonder: Is dating a devastatingly handsome guy worth it? See for yourself as I describe the highs and lows you’ll encounter dating one of them.

High: Your friends think he’s hot
It’s definitely an ego boost to date a guy that your friends immediately, and enviously, agree is a total babe. I showed him off at a friend’s birthday party and, one by one, everyone I knew came up to whisper, “Oh, he’s gorgeous.” While the approval from my friends was welcome — and puffed up my pride — that bubble was bound to burst once I encountered my next grim realization…

Low: Everyone else thinks he’s hot, too
It would be great if only a select few people — trustworthy friends, important relatives, ex-boyfriends — could see how beautiful my beau is. Unfortunately, that’s not the case, and lots of other people (including some just plain beautiful women) brazenly eye my man when we’re out together. We went shopping recently and were having a great time until a lithe brunette made a beeline for my boyfriend like a sleek cheetah on the hunt. Somehow I managed to drag Tim out of the store before she pounced, but it was close. Not the most enjoyable way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

High: An attractive man gets you plenty of perks
Going out is a lot more fun when you’ve got the good-looking pass (i.e., my boyfriend) to garner VIP treatment. Many bartenders, waiters and maître d’s are happy to have my boyfriend around, so we have a pretty easy time getting a great table at a high-end restaurant, a seat at a crowded theater and other preferential treatment won purely through charm and good looks. With the less model-esque men I’ve dated in the past, I was the one who would try to convince the unimpressed gatekeepers to let us into overbooked nightspots. It’s a nice change and a load off my shoulders to be escorting the arm candy in lieu of being it.

Low: You turn into a jealous, territorial lunatic
I never noticed if the men I dated were bothered by whatever attention I got when we went out. I don’t think so, maybe because it’s expected for a woman to be pretty and admired and that most men get a kick out of being with a girl who people look at. The flipside, however, isn’t that fantastic. I don’t know if it’s because men tend to be more respectful of women who are obviously taken, but I can tell you women practically shove me aside to chit-chat with my guy. The hissing, claws-drawn look probably isn’t me at my most attractive… What had happened to the fun, flirty gal I was before I met Tim?

High: You learn that looks aren’t that important
While one might think that being with Tim has forced me to double my efforts to look my best, on the contrary, it’s made me rethink all the time and money I spend on clothes and primping with expensive beauty products. The reason: I realized that there’s always going to be someone who’s prettier, taller, younger and thinner than I am. But that’s not why my boyfriend’s with me in the first place. He remains smitten by my quirky sense of humor, the songs I write, or my take on international politics. Being with him has made me appreciate — and nurture — my more unique qualities, which have a much longer shelf life than my looks ever will.

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